It Don't Come Easy

Been listening to this song alot lately don't know why but thought I would share. Oh and by the way.....when the Beatles first came out I definitely thought he was the cutest. Maybe just taking a trip down memory lane.

IT DON'T COME EASY
Got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues
And you know it dont come easy
You dont have to shout or leap about
You can even play them easy
Forget about the past and all your sorrow
The future wont last
It will soon be your tomorrow

I dont ask for much, I only want your trust
And you know it dont come easy
And this love of mine keeps growing all the time
And you know it dont come easy
Open up your heart, lets come together
Use a little luck, and we will make it work out better

Got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues
And you know it dont come easy
You dont have to shout or leap about
You can even play them easy
Please remember peace is how we make it
Here withing your reach, is your freedom to take it

I dont ask for much, I only want your trust
And you know it dont come easy
(de de de) growing all the time
And you know it dont come easy

One Persons Soul

This is going to be a small peek into my soul. No pictures and no poetry.
I have spent a lifetime trying to figure out where I fit.
I have kissed boo boos and skinned knees, held a child when they are afraid and the tears roll down dirty cheeks to pulling fingers out of chains or recovering a body from a slurry pit. I have worn the uniform of the US Army 1st cavalry division, a wildland firefighter and a medic. I have written poetry from the heart and painted with colors from the soul. I have been hungry and done without but in turn ministered to the hungry and the down and out with whatever I had to give. I have owned harleys and proudly ridden on theharley of the president of the Oakland chapter of Hells Angels. I have worn a 10,000 gucci grown to a function with the Attorney General of Nevada and shopped for clothes at the thrift stores just to get by. I have gone to places never knowing why my destiny was there and to others knowing exactly what the reason was (and it usually wasn't what I thought the reason was either). In my truck I have a rosary hanging next to an eagle feather and a sage smug. I have explored the most white side of life but like yin and yang have also had to go to the darkest depths.
I think what I am trying to say is that my life seems to be a series of contradictions. They make sense to me (at least most of the time) but to those around me and that love me I am sure that I seem to be confused, flighty, a gypsy or what ever other label seems to fit.
A wise man told me once that a life wasn't really lived unless it was lived to the fullest and I think that is what my life has been about. Living every moment to the fullest and not letting anything pass you by or exploring the possibilities. I have lived a life that I consider extraordinary....had opportunities that many people only dream about. I was asked if I had regrets once and my answer was no....because to have regrets would mean that I would change things and to change things would make me a different person than I am today and quite possibly change many more lives than my own. I do wish that I could have spared those I love the pain that I have cause because it is truly not in me to harm another living spirit....especially my children. One day I can only hope that they will know that what was done, was done out of pure love and for no other reason.
Maybe I should write the book................

Beautiful Sisters

I have these 3 beautiful, caring, giving, loving sisters. They have been on my mind alot lately and so I wanted to share some of my thoughts and thoughts from other people about sisters. I love you all!!!

A sister is someone who leads you when you are having a problem.
A sister makes you laugh and cry.
A sister is someone who likes to fight with you.
A sister is the one who stands with you in all your ups and downs.
A sister makes you remember who you really are.
A sister sometimes makes you cry when they are very sad.
A sister is someone who is always there for you through all the laughter and tears.
A sister is real.
A sister never will pretend.
A sister is someone like you whom I treasure everyday in my heart.




"Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk."
-Susan Scarf Merrell

"Your siblings are usually the first people besides your parents to come to your aid in times of trouble. They know your admirable qualities, they know your faults. They've seen you during the good times, but they've also seen you at your worst."
-Shari Cohen

"You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family."
-Anita Baker

"The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together."
-Erma Bombeck

"No one can love you or hurt you as a sister can. They serve as memory mirrors of the serious and silly parts of our lives...The...bond may twist and bend and fray, but the tie is never broken."
-Mrs. James Modlish

To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.
-Clara Ortega

"Until the ending of our days, we will be part of one another's lives. However far apart, however different, we are essential to each other."
-Pam Brown

"We are sisters. We will always be sisters. Our differences may never go away, but neither, for me, will our song."
-Elizabeth Fishel

"I have come back full circle to my own sister, to the value of traversing an often troubling relationship, one that has fractured and sustained me, but most important, has helped me piece together the story of myself."
-Patricia Foster

"Sister, open your heart, fling your hopes high, set your dreams aloft. I am here to hold your hand."
-Maya Angelou

"One of the best things about being an adult is the realization that you can share with your sister and still have plenty for yourself."
- Betsy Cohen

"We love those who know the worst of us and don't turn their faces away."
- Walker Percy

"Very often we travel the world over in search of what we need and return home to find it."
- George Moore

"Sisters are connected throughout their lives by a special bond...whether they try to ignore it or not. For better or for worse, sisters remain sisters, until death do them part."
- Brigid McConville

Fall Equinox 2009

At 2:18pm MST Fall officially begins. A time when the earth sees 12 hours of day and 12 hours of night. Another changing of time.

"The hazy, cloudless skies of Indian Summer. Leaves scurrying down the street
before the wind. The cold shiver from an arctic blast. Indian Summer. The last
warmth of the sun. Chilly mornings and glorious warm afternoons. The Harvest
Moon. The Hunter's Moon. The Rainy Season. Dry corn stalks clattering in the
wind. The touch of frost on grass and window pane. The smell of burning leaves."

Chill In The Air

There is a chill on the wind tonight and the colors of fall are starting to show their glorious colors to the world. I am not quite sure that I am ready for the colder weather to be here yet. It seems like we have had very little real summer and before I can turn around there will be a world blanketed in white.
The one picture is of the little motel that I manage. Its older but it does have its charms and its ghosts.
The other 2 are pictures I have taken when I find a road less traveled on my day off and just drive to see where it goes.
I hope you enjoy a little glimpse into my world here in Montana.

Remembering

"God has not yet invented tomorrow, and so we can set about our lives each day in the wonder of not-knowing. Whom shall God send us? How will we be asked to serve? Which person we ignored yesterday will God be asking us to minister to today?"
This is a statement made by emergency personnel in the aftermath of 9-11. It is as true today as it was that day.

9-9-09 Gathering of Aquarius

On this Septmber 9th, 2009, we will be uniting in Spirit, within the overall Planetary and Humanity Consciousness of Earth.

09-09-09

Focus on your Soul, your Inner-Self...

09:00 am till 09:09 am ...Your 9 minutes and thought on Peace...

1) Breathe in and out few times around 08:59 am
2) Stay still and focus your attention inwards means let go all thoughts while breathing in and out
3) For next few minutes, focus on peace, you as peaceful human BEING; think about you as LOVE and PEACE
4) Open your eyes after 9 minutes and say thanks...."Thank you, Universe for giving me this life, ability to walk, talk, see, eat, breathe..."

Walking Away

To Watch You Leaving . . .

is to know such pain, it's jagged edges tearing into my soul. As a stake from the garden tears into the warm, dark earth.

To Watch You Leaving . . .

knowing all the while that never again will I fit myself, warm with sleep, against your solid back.

Nor hear your steady breathing. Or feel the beating of your heart.

To Watch You Leaving . . .

aware in every moment of every day that my dreams, my future; once tied with silken ribbons to yours, will never come to be.

And the mornings once so silent and hopeful, us gazing at the mountains and so gently awaiting forever - are now but small pieces of my past.

To Watch You Leaving . . .

your heart a tight fist of anger and your dry eyes betraying nothing of you. I cry for both of us, my love, because you will not.

To Watch You Leaving . . .

is to know that I've lost my place on this earth. My station. My heart's home. That I will wander, forever a nomad. Alone and afraid. And in my troubled dreams watch you leave, again and again.

For the balance of my days.

For those of you who didn't know yet.....we are not together any longer. It became clear that addictions would rule our relationship and that is just a place that I can not go anymore. It has been a month now and all things considered I am doing ok. It has been a little hard being here alone in Montana and hardly knowing anyone. I guess it helps to have a lot of work hours 24 hrs a day 5 1/2 days a week, and that keeps me busy enough not to have to think about things to much. I have learned 2 things through all of this....one: We have always made better friends than live ins....and two: That I can do this by myself and not have to depend on someone else to complete my life....I complete my life by myself and anything else is just frosting (so to speak). I think in this life that not all of us are meant to be with someone else and I have finally got to a point in my life that I am ok with that.