One Persons Soul

This is going to be a small peek into my soul. No pictures and no poetry.
I have spent a lifetime trying to figure out where I fit.
I have kissed boo boos and skinned knees, held a child when they are afraid and the tears roll down dirty cheeks to pulling fingers out of chains or recovering a body from a slurry pit. I have worn the uniform of the US Army 1st cavalry division, a wildland firefighter and a medic. I have written poetry from the heart and painted with colors from the soul. I have been hungry and done without but in turn ministered to the hungry and the down and out with whatever I had to give. I have owned harleys and proudly ridden on theharley of the president of the Oakland chapter of Hells Angels. I have worn a 10,000 gucci grown to a function with the Attorney General of Nevada and shopped for clothes at the thrift stores just to get by. I have gone to places never knowing why my destiny was there and to others knowing exactly what the reason was (and it usually wasn't what I thought the reason was either). In my truck I have a rosary hanging next to an eagle feather and a sage smug. I have explored the most white side of life but like yin and yang have also had to go to the darkest depths.
I think what I am trying to say is that my life seems to be a series of contradictions. They make sense to me (at least most of the time) but to those around me and that love me I am sure that I seem to be confused, flighty, a gypsy or what ever other label seems to fit.
A wise man told me once that a life wasn't really lived unless it was lived to the fullest and I think that is what my life has been about. Living every moment to the fullest and not letting anything pass you by or exploring the possibilities. I have lived a life that I consider extraordinary....had opportunities that many people only dream about. I was asked if I had regrets once and my answer was no....because to have regrets would mean that I would change things and to change things would make me a different person than I am today and quite possibly change many more lives than my own. I do wish that I could have spared those I love the pain that I have cause because it is truly not in me to harm another living spirit....especially my children. One day I can only hope that they will know that what was done, was done out of pure love and for no other reason.
Maybe I should write the book................