I NEED A FASHION GURU

Ok so this is how I feel when it comes to dressing myself or trying to find a new hair do or makeup or anything. I am about as clueless as it comes. I had often hoped along the way that someone (like a sister or a good friend) would take pity on my and give me a clue but I guess I am to travel through life hopeless.
My boss tells me a couple days ago that I need to dress up my wardrobe for work. Sheepishly I look down and think whats wrong with this tee shirt....it has Harley on it and gosh all I am doing most of the time is cleaning rooms so whats wrong with this. When I didn't say anything but stood there looking embarrassed, he did kindly mention that they have polo type shirts at Ross Dress for Less. I smiled and nodded my head in agreement then slipped away for a good cry where no one could see.
This is but the last in a lifetime of embarrassing moments because I don't have a clue. The last time I wore a dress was in the 90's when I had to go to a farewell for Jason and yes I do have a dress or two in the closet but they probably went out of style in the 80's and even if I did put one on I would feel so out of place because again no clue as to hair and makeup.
WILL SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!

Otherwise.....please feel free to bury me when the time comes in a faded pair of jeans and the rattiest tee shirt in the drawer. No dress then please cause it would just be rubbing salt into the wound and sacrilege.

This is mostly meant for humor but I really could use some help!!!




The real me and if you can't see I need help.....PUT ON SOME GLASSES PLEASE...LOL!!